I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I will pee on everything he values.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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