I want to walk on stilts...naked
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize