you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize