i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
