Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize