her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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