My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
