Do vagina's smell?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
