tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize