Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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