i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
