why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
