I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
