They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
