I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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