Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
