i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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