i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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