I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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