I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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