You made me cry and you don't even care
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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