Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
