I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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