there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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