I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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