I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
