Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
