now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
