I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
