Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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