Jerry, you need to find god
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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