I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
