I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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