Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
