That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
