the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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