pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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