Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
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LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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