You just made me feel so damn special
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
