Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
