i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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