More tranny stories later!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
