he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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