I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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