We're facebook friends in real life
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize