In the future we'll all be gay
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
