I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
