Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
