After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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