But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.