I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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