Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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