Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
