this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
