we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
