They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
