Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
