..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
