Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
