I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
